The last few years for me have been hard, mentally, physically and emotionally. I’ve been going through some things and have never been one to share my thoughts and feelings with others- which truthfully has only added to the amount of pressure I’ve been under.
There have been moments (although few and far between) that I have felt truly happy. This is a feeling that I crave for, daily, but also a feeling I don’t actually know how to achieve.
“Happiness is a state of mind” yet I can’t MAKE myself happy, I don’t believe that you can force happiness, but there are always steps to take to achieve it. At the moment, I am at the bottom of that staircase, rising slowly.
My life isn’t terrible, but it is 100% not going in the direction I want it to. I know that. As for where I am headed or would like to be…I have no idea. Which makes the pursuit of happiness a whole lot harder.
I am a people pleaser and will go above and beyond to make others happy and provide for them, often leaving myself without or mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.
After reading Lou’s post last week, I have come to the realization that I am not happy and only I can change that. I have to let go of the stresses in my life and do more for me. This will be a hard to do as a lot of people are reliant on me- more than would admit it. I need to focus on me and happiness will come.
I will struggle with this, and will probably go back on my word multiple times, just to make others happy, but it’s a journey I am excited to take.
I’ve got to live for me and strive for my happiness above other peoples.