I’m hoping that this can be an outlet for my year. So far I have used this blog as a sort of diary to myself, but I think I want it to be more than that. I am as of the new term going to be training to be a teacher so I thought this may be a good reflection tool and outlet for those kind of teachery academic things, as well as lifey stuff that I have going on. here’s hoping, because I want to get myself back into writing again.
Breakfast…a meal either eaten in suffered silence, with eyes half shut, morning breath in the air, or simply with good people, smiles all round and a positive ora in the air.
Breakfast is a meal, more specifically a feeling, a gathering, a state of mind that I have come to love. There is nothing better than sitting around a table with your friends and family, with a table full of fruit, flowers and enough eggy soldiers to feed an entire preschool. I have had the great privilege to be part of many a great breakfast, although few and far between.
There is nothing I love better than a person who shares my love of the breakfast experience, and that is what ‘A hoard of breakfast’ is all about for me, it is an experience. The feeling of togetherness, and happiness, the shared looks when your cousin drops jam all down his new white t-shirt and the coercion that happens when your brother refuses to eat anything but nutella, despite pleas from all the family members involved. Breakfast isn’t just the most important meal of the day, it is the most important bonding experience of the day. As Sir Alan Patrick Herbet once said: ” The critical period in matrimony is breakfast time”. Dude had a point.
I’ve really enjoyed having these last few days off work before going back for the new term. It has allowed me to look at my life from another point of view and really sort out what I want, which is something I often find difficult to do. I am often to preoccupied with the ‘right now’ things and don’t look at the big picture, which I have recently come to the conclusion, is how I lost an entire year. I was just drifting on, living from weekend to weekend and not making the most of my time. I was essentially wishing my life away, which is not something that I want to do.
I try to live each day for that day, and not wish on a Monday that the weekend would come quicker, because then I loose the beauty in each day. And honestly, I think if we all looked objectively at our days, there will be a little sparkle in each of them. I’ve recently had to take a really hard look at my life, and make some decisions that I have been putting off for the best part of a year. Although things are only in the beginning stages, and may not come to anything, I am feeling really positive about it, which I never thought would be the case. I am a little in awe with myself, about how ‘okay’ I am with everything, and I honestly think that it is because something has switched inside of me. I now recognize that I come first. I need to do what is right for me, and not what I think other people want. I have stopped living in fear of letting people down, and it has done wonders. Yes, its nice to be nice, but do you know whats also nice? Doing you. For you.
John Green provides a heart-wrenching and thought provoking insight into the minds of two teenagers, battling cancer that will almost certainly leave you wanting more.
I’m not sure that I am capable of pulling together coherent thoughts on this wonderful but sorrow tale. Two years after reading and I am not ready to commit myself to the emotional turmoil of re-reading. I will however say, that this is one book to movie adaptationt that actually does the author and the original story some justice. There were of course scenes that I would have liked to see on the big screen that were thought to be ‘not important enough’ to include in the film, but I have to say, thy did a darn good job!
Now, for an all to emotional, and written in the heat of the moment review that I posted on ‘Good Reads’ moments after my third post-book breakdown….I write;
“You have a choice in this world, I believe, about how to tell sad stories…” Mr John Michael Green had a choice. A choice in how to deliver a sad story. He chose not to deliver a sad story but a happy one. A very truthful, well written, emotional happy story. He has a very distinctive and relatable writing style and always finds a way to relate to the reader whoever they may be. There are many issues addressed in this outstanding piece of literary wonder- the least of which are cancer-in the minds of our truly teenage star crossed lovers. I have not one dis-satisfactory comment to make about this novel or it’s author- which may be due to the fact that I am still living in the emotional blow-out that was ‘The Fault In Our Stars’. However, is more likely that it is result of the literary genius that is Mr John Michael Green. Okay? Okay.
A hoard of quilts. An idea that I have been fascinated with for a while. I picture rainy day and log cabins and cupboards full of blankets and quilts and homemade woolly piles of joy. I love anything homemade and has that slightly less than store bought quality about it. At 20 I do have quite an impressive collection, ranging from comfy cozy, curl up on the sofa blankets, to my granny’s passed down through generations ‘good throw’. My next venture (that I have been saying will happen for years) is to make my very own quilt. Or blanket…..of some sort. I have countless quilting books, accessories and pinterest boards dedicated to the subject, and a drawer full of knitted squared just ready to be sewn together.
I long for my wood cabin aesthetic, and one day, I may just achieve it!
As I sit writing this on the evening of Easter Sunday, I am surrounded by a clean (although slightly cluttered room), I am lounging on freshly laundered sheets, I have a pomegranate and agave candle burning and my ‘all time favorites’ country music playlist on. If there is a moment to be compared to perfect bliss, this would be it. This is how I aim to end every Sunday. Calm, cool and collected and ready for the week.
I woke up without the sound of an alarm ringing, which these days is unheard of. A beautiful morning, which I spent in the sun with a girly read by the wonderful Page Toon, completely contented and blissfully unaware of the troubles in the world. I think we all need a few hours like this once in a while, and it is a feeling that I wont forget in a hurry.
Easter Sunday, or any holiday in fact is a hard time for me, as it is one spent with those you love. Particularly hard when there aren’t many people who fall under that category, and those who do have to work. So instead I worked on me, I felt the most relaxed that I’ve felt in years, and I didn’t and still don’t regret it. And I think that my message to myself, that’s okay. I am me, and no matter how much I wan’t to change the harsh reality that is my close circle, I can’t. I am lucky to have a few very close people in my life, and that’s all a girl can really ask for.
I am ready for the week, Happy Easter everyone, and more importantly, Happy Sunday!
I have been having a little think about my blog recently, and what I want to achieve with it. I think, for me, this is more about enjoying writing again, and having a space that is all mine to collect my thoughts and feelings. I’ve never been very good at keeping a journal, despite always wanting to be, and buying multiple, just to have them all sit in a pile in the corner of my room, unused.
I want this to be a place that I can come back and read my thoughts and stories and possibly for you (the mythical reader) to be able to spend ten minutes of a Sunday afternoon (the day I intend to post) hearing my inner ramblings and what I would class as witty remarks.
I’ll give it a go, and at the end of the year, at least I can say I tried. I’ll do this for me.