Just A Little Note To Say…..

I have been having a little think about my blog recently, and what I want to achieve with it. I think, for me, this is more about enjoying writing again, and having a space that is all mine to collect my thoughts and feelings. I’ve never been very good at keeping a journal, despite always wanting to be, and buying multiple, just to have them all sit in a pile in the corner of my room, unused.

I want this to be a place that I can come back and read my thoughts and stories and possibly for you (the mythical reader) to be able to spend ten minutes of a Sunday afternoon (the day I intend to post) hearing my inner ramblings and what I would class as witty remarks.

I’ll give it a go, and at the end of the year, at least I can say I tried. I’ll do this for me.

In Response To My Goals For The Year 2015

In response to my goals for the year 2015…what was I thinking? I mean WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I know, I was thinking that I had an organised life, that I would stick to my goals and that I would keep on top of everything in my life. WRONG! It is now the end of March and although I have made some progress on these goals, I haven’t gone about it in the way that I wanted. I think, in respect of this, I can make a choice about how I want to view it. I can hang on to the vision I had in my head, or I can accept that as long as the end goal is the same, its the journey that matters. It may not be the journey I envisioned, but it makes life a little more interesting.

Goal one: Learn to drive! I’ve started this…hoooraaay! At least I am off to a good start. my lessons are going well and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have my theory test booked and soon after I complete that I will be ready to book my actual real live scary driving test! ooohh-aaarrr! After then all that is left is for me to delve into the real world of adult responsibility and buy/insure a car! Oh Ehm Gee!!

Goal two: Get Healthier. Admittedly, I have slightly lapsed in this area…although I am now more in the mindset to rectify it. I have been walking a lot more recently and I am thinking of doing a charity run this time next year so I believe that I am now in what you ‘fit people’ call ‘training’. Now THAT is a scary thought! Food wise, I am a little embarrassed to say that I have not stuck to the wheat free thing, and I have not been limiting fat/sugar like I should be. Everything in moderation is great in theory….but in practice not so much.

if-you-change-nothing

Goal three: Plan my future! Over the past few weeks I have inquired about/applied for every childcare related course under the sun. I have realised that I have gotten to a point in work where I feel that I am really good at my job (not to toot my own horn) and I enjoy it….but I am just bored! I need something to keep me occupied and to keep my mind working, and a qualification to validate my work seems like the way to go. I should hear back from the courses over the next couple of weeks, and I’ll take things from there. At least on the education front, things are looking up!

Goal four: Be more aware. Another goal that I have somehow (not intentionally) forgotten about. Since my last post in January, I have abandoned this blog. I want to make the excuse that it was because my laptop was down, but if I tried I could have set up my phone or Ipad to use, so I am only kidding myself! I have been reading on my phone but yearn for Sundays with tea and flowers and the pages of a proper book! (Another goal for myself there)…..and although she does not have a book in hand, this is this kind of wistful aesthetic that I yearn for….

tumblr_nk7maekrzW1t8ihjmo1_500

Goal five: Be more sociable. This is a hard one, and as I have previously mentioned, something that I struggle with. I need to know someone really exceptionally well to be comfortable around them, and I think when it comes down to it I trust only three people in my life. I can get along with almost everyone, and that is a quality that I pride myself on, but I will always have my guard up. I do need to work on putting myself out there more, but I think I need to be in the right frame of mind to do this.

Goal six: Explore more! Definitely something that I am going to try and focus on in the next few weeks. Especially with the weather getting nicer, I feel like it would be a great ‘me time’ activity.

tumblr_m0wfl5cssq1qdoa2ro1_500

Long story short, I suppose, I am trying! I feel more motivated now after re-discovering my blog, and the next few weeks will be crucial in terms of happiness and getting things back on track. I’ve felt very stuck for a little over a year and I am now in the mindset to change that!

Goals For The Year 2015

Not resolutions, as that to me sounds like “after all else has failed” or “this is what it has come to”. It may not be the true meaning, but for me it’s how it feels.
I like goals, a goal is something you strive towards and in most cases get excited about accomplishing. So my goals for 2015 will be met. They will be!

So, Kirsten, this is for you:

–Learn To Drive! (And save for your test/car/insurance)

–Get Healthier (eg- stop eating f’ing gluten when you’re allergic to it!)

–Plan My Future (apply for a course even if it is part time, you need to get yourself back into education! Start slowly of you need to. PS- just saying but this would be a lot easier if you could drive first)

–Be More Aware (read more, write more and this will only better you and help you towards your above goal of education. See what I’m doing, I’m HELPING you here.)

–Be More Sociable (I know that you
find this difficult but if you don’t force yourself to try then you are going to lose even more friends than you already have. Anxiety will pass but there will come a point when loneliness will not and that you will wish that you weren’t so happy being by yourself in your twenties.

–Explore More (you are in your mother f’ing twenties. Explore. Adventure. Enjoy!)

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/041/55054468/files/2015/01/img_7763.jpg

Dear Alex Day | Part 1

Before I dive in to the letter, I would like to point out that this was not written for my blog or for anyone to read. I often find that writing out my feelings, especially in the form of a reply to someone helps me to think. I had been a viewer of Alex’s from the beginning, he along with Charlie were the first people that I ever watched on youtube, so I felt that to properly comprehend what was happening, I had to write about it. This was first written in a notebook that I keep with me for this very purpose. It is written right in the middle of my shopping list and marks for my final grade assessment. I purposely haven’t changed anything from how I have written it out originally several months ago, and my main reason for storing it online for myself was because after watching his recent video, I have written a part 2. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subject and as a former viewer/ someone who works with young and impressionable individuals.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Alex Day…

I am a regular tumblr user, and up until the first three accusations appeared, I was a regular supporter of yours on the website. I highly valued you as a creator and comedic personality. However, since the allegations against you have appeared, I have dropped any online support that I once partook in. At first this was so that I could form my own un-biased opinion about what was happening and so that I could ‘do my homework’ and find out what was actually out there.

The allegations that have been made against you, Mr Day, are of a very serious caliber. No person should ever think that they have the right to demean others in any way or pressure them into things that they do not want to do. These allegations although shocking have been for the most part proven true.

The more I have read and researched, the more shocked, disgusted and betrayed I felt. How could someone who I admired so much do something so horrible? Not once, but multiple times?

Abuse is a topic that I have very strong feelings about. Abuse in any form is unacceptable, whether it be emotional, physical, financial, sexual or even neglect. This relates to all people of all ages. It doesn’t just happen to one ‘type’ of person and there isn’t a specific personality trait that makes you an ‘abuser’.

Before these incidents came to light, I held you, Mr Day, in very high regard. After all, you have accomplished a lot in a short few years. You are (I am not sure if ‘were’ is more appropriate) a singer/songwriter/musician, a member of two bands with multiple albums, had three top 40 UK hits, an author (although there are rumors that the book will no longer be published), a content creator/vlogger with over a million subscribers, the co-owner of ‘sopio’ and creator of ‘life scouts’, and up until very recently had your own self titled and promoted merchandise.

Most of us could never dream of accomplishing in 50 years, what you had in the last five. But then again, most of us (I sincerely hope) understand FULLY what consent actually means.

I feel that you have ruined any chance that you had to work within the media industry. You destroyed the trust of a loyal audience who would support you through your work and various projects that you are working on. Part of the reason that some of your ventures were so successful was because you were ‘Alex Day’ the youtube personality. I feel that the only way you now have to succeed with Lifescouts and Sopio is by un-branding yourself from it. I honestly feel for Dan who is most likely caught up in all of this- as I have guessed from his online social absence the past few weeks.

Although I am severely angered, saddened and disappointed by your behavior Alex, I recognize that you are an extremely creative person. I feel that you have wasted your creativity and talent by allowing yourself to engage in such de-humanizing behavior, and that you have ultimately destroyed any chance to show the world how much of a talent you were.

I hold the strong belief that there is no longer a place for you in the industry, and as such want to make it public that I do not (nor in my opinion should anyone) condone the actions that you have taken up to this point. While I stand by this, I do no think that you should be harassed while trying to make a living by selling the only things that you have left (Sopio and LifeScouts). You made horrible choices, but you have to come to terms with that on your own, and should be allowed to make a living somehow, just not on our screens.

Due to the nature of the allegations held and proven true against you, Mr Day, I feel that some awareness of your whereabouts is appropriate as some people may find bumping into you triggering. You ruined your social stature by demeaning and mistreating others but I make a plea to others to take the high road and to not do the same to you.

It is not all black and white, nothing in life ever is, but there is bad and good. The grey line between bad and good and right and wrong is never a good place to be. We should all strive to be the best people that we can be and making others feel inferior and powerless is not the way to live our life.

This is a lesson that I hope you one day may grasp, and learn to live the rest of your life thinking of others and making up for the mistakes that you have made in the past.

Sincerely,

A former supporter.

My Life In Dragons: Hoard Of Kittens

Hello and welcome to the third of many parts of my ‘My Life In Dragons’ blog series. I hope you enjoy! 🙂

HOARD OF KITTENS

Anyone who knows me knows that I have ‘a thing’ for cats, and by ‘a thing’ I mean I bloody love them!

I find it really hard to explain to people when they ask me about it but I think they are just really affectionate animals and live in their own little bubble of a world. The way they switch from being so cute and cuddly and purring to beast mode where they are hell bent on catching a bee or a dandelion.

I have always wanted a cat since I was little, and now own one (he is ever so adorable, his name is Marlo and we are besties) which hasn’t helped my obsession much. My little one (Marlo) is very individual and is not the most affectionate of cats, but that just makes the times when he does come looking for hugs and cuddles extra special. He is my little child, and like any doting mother does, I probably spend more on him than I do on myself. He owns countless toys, blankets and treats. I just purchased him (a very expensive) radiator bed with really soft fabric that he loves. Our neighbors cat that likes to sneak into our house is also partial to a wee sleep in it too.

Take a look in my bedroom, and there are countless cat inspired things, such as quotes, pictures or cat print clothing.

Y’all are probably weirded out by this as all I have done is tell you how much I love my cat. I have always said that I am going to be a cat lady and have like 500 million of them to love and its going to be great. I can invite people over to my house just for cat cuddles. 

In short, I just love the little things so darn much. I just want to skweedge their little heads until they pop- cause I just love them sooooo much. If I could have a hoard of kittens, I would have a hoard of kittens.

So that’s how I feel about cats.

dragon 1

 

NOTE: I do not own these images nor to claim any rights to them. If the artist gets in contact I will gladly credit them but I found them on the vortex that is ‘tumblr’ and though I have tried I cannot find the original source or post-ee.

My Life In Dragons: Hoard Of Video Games

Hello! And welcome to what has become my wee mini blog post series entitled ‘My Life In Dragons’.

HOARD OF VIDEO GAMES

I wouldn’t describe myself as a huge video game fan, although I am partial to a wee game of ‘Mini Ninjas‘ now and then. One thing that is for sure is that my 10 year old self would be very disappointed in that statement. At 10 years old I was determined to own every Nintendo product that there was (and considering that they released about 5 a year my parents were glad when I found a new hobby).I would be the first person in my class to own the new gameboys and was the first to compete any level ‘Crash Bandicoot‘ (which was all the rage at the time, and I still believe is the greatest Playstation game ever released).

Although I very rarely play games consoles now I did own quite a few- most of which I am sure are gathering dust in an attic somewhere. I used to beg my big cousins to give me their old consoles and games so quite a few of the ones I own were released before I could talk. I used to sit up in my room for hours and play these games and block my brother out of the room so that I could have them to myself. 

I owned: The Playstation (the first and best), The Nintendo 64, Playstation 2 (in pink, of course), Nintendo Game Cube, The original X-box, The game boy (original first release, this was years before I was born and obviously a hand me down), Game Boy Color, Game boy advance (first in white and then pink), Nintendo DS and the little square one that I had like 5 of because they kept breaking. (also I cant seem to source it anywhere online, but I swear it existed!) 

Obviously, because I was a girl I also owned any variation of a sing star or dance mat game, because who doesn’t love that? Come on, picture it, you’re sitting with a bottle of beer or glass of wine in hand, having a laugh with your mates and someone brings out a dance mat. Are you telling me you’re not going to have a go? 

dragon 3

 

If I play video games nowadays it either consists of me begging my little brother to let me put on Mini Ninjas or him forcing me to play Call Of Duty and get eaten my zombies (I really am not suited to Zombie Survival) I can’t wait to get my hands on another Crash Bandicoot game and relive my ‘Bamboozled’ glory!

 

NOTE: I do not own these images nor to claim any rights to them. If  the artist gets in contact I will gladly credit them but I found them on the vortex that is ‘tumblr’ and though I have tried I cannot find the original source or post-ee.